Life Post: GTA

This one's a doozy. 

Last night I saw the most GTA thing I've witnessed in DC. 

Walking up to the Columbia Heights metro stop, I heard this guy yell "HEY" and dove onto the hood of a car. Car starts moving slowly and the general feel is "This is playful, they know each other." Nope. Driver takes off near 40mph whipping back and forth trying to dislodge the rider. I take off sprinting after them in flip-flops, ukulele in hand (I was playing and walking) because this won't end well for the homie.
Sure enough, driver slams on breaks, throws the guy off the hood... then proceeds to run him over, and take off... Wild right?

But wait, there's more.

My man played great value Jesus and popped up off the concrete like he wasn't gushing blood from the back of his head, ready to scrap.
 I thought he was gonna swing on me when I caught up with him.
He was screaming he got carjacked... so my mans a pizza driver.
Left the whip running on delivery, and got carjacked... thrown off at 30-40mph, and run over by the aforementioned vehicle.
I'm sittin here holdin gauze against his head, cause he's leakin, making sure he's AOx4, and doesn't move too much and my mans is smiling cause he's safe, and ain't even really trippin off being run over with his own car. 

Dude smiled his way into the ambulance
(They let him walk himself into the ambulance... idk DC protocol). 
There's no punchline here, it's just a story about a guy who got dealt a really crappy hand, but saw the bright side.

Brandon Williams